Price as tested: €51,930
+ Style, chassis, practicality, comfort, economy, performance; everything really
– Engine too noisy around town. That's it.
= As close to perfection as currently mechanically possible.
They. They are omnipresent. They are all-knowing. They are the They who show up in every pub conversation, They are the true and all-seeing know-alls of the universe. You know, the They in "They say that..."
Well, They say that perfection is unattainable in nature. To which I say, well, what about Scarlett Johansson? And perhaps more pertinently for a motoring website, what about the new BMW 3 Series Touring?
Now, perfection is a dangerous word for any critic to use. It essentially paints you into a corner, as if this thing here is perfect, then what about the next thing, which may be even better again. Do we need to have a graduated system of perfection? A Johansson scale, as it were?
BMW's mighty 3 Series has always been pretty high up the scale of perfection, certainly since the iconic E30 version of the 1980s and the current F30 3 Series is for my money the best one ever. It manages to combine traditional BMW virtues of style, agility and an entertaining driving experience with a level of comfort and refinement that few other cars, indeed few other BMWs, can match.
And here's the Touring version, the estate, which really and truly pushes all my buttons. Now, I know many of you still dismiss estates as Brewery Rep's cars and you'd all rather be seen in your trendy compact SUVs. To which I say, good luck to you and enjoy the fuel bills. I'll be happy in my wagon.
To turn the regular 3 Series into a Touring, BMW has really been doing its homework. The expected separate opening glass rear window, a feature pioneered by the original E30 Touring, is there as ever, while the main tailgate is now electrically powered as standard. A shame that; electric 'gates are just an annoyance in my book. Why not just offer it as a no-cost option? Still, the boot once open is large (495-litres, which BMW claims is a best-in-class figure), square and luxuriously carpeted. The sill is just 620mm off the ground the the standard stainless steel scuff plate should keep dings and scratches in the paint work down to a minimum.
The rear seats split into three 40:20:40 sections and if you fold everything flat, there's 1,500-litres of load space. Practical, then.
Up front, it looks and feels the same as any 3 Series, which is to say really rather wonderful. I've heard complaints from some quarters that the cabin looks too plain or too similar to the previous E90 3 Series, but to that I say just take a long journey in one. Then, when you've noticed the spot-on driving position, the comfy seats, the space, the clear dials and the general air of purposefulness, get back to me.
Sufficient eulogies to the brilliance of the 181bhp 2.0-litre turbo diesel engine found herein have been written that future archaeologists will be forced to conclude that there was at one time a church that deified a Munich-built oil-burning engine, so it's enough here to say that it remains powerful, smooth and very efficient. Thanks to the now-expected battery of EfficientDynamics technologies, you should easily enough be able to match the claimed 5.1-litres per 100km fuel consumtion figure, That's mid-fifties in MPG, and I managed low forties bombing around with the sport setting on the gearbox activated. Select the Eco Pro mode and you should do better still.
If there is a chink in the armour of perfection though, it's in the engine. Simply put, refinement is not quite all it should be. On the main road, at a cruise, it's fine, blending seamlessly into the background. But around town, especially from cold, and it just growls and gurgles a bit too much, an effect heightened by the otherwise excellent 8-speed automatic transmission, which tends to hunt around for cogs at low speeds.
Still, if that's enough to put you off then you'll never sample the 320d's greatest party trick. In the past, BMWs would always wow you with sharp steering, iron-fisted body control and an entertaining attitude to wet roundabouts, but then punish you when the road got bumpy, something that got progressively worse from 2002 onwards when the runflat tyre systems arrived. Now though, you'll be pitching your 3 Series down a favourite back road, revelling in the steering and chassis balance when a traditional Irish pothole will appear. You'll brace yourself for the impact, getting your wince face ready and then... nothing. The car will glide over the cratered surface as if it isn't there. Wonderful.
And that, to me at any rate, is why the 3 Touring flirts so closely with perfection. It's that combination of talents, that blending into one of sports car, family car and practical holdall. You can drop the kids to school, clean out the garage and go for an invigorating spin on a challenging road, all in one morning, all without changing cars.
Perfect? Not quite, but probably as close as They will allow.
BMW 320d SE Touring
Price as tested: €51,930
Range price: €36,620 to €52,120
Capacity: 1,995cc
Power: 181bhp
Torque: 560Nm
Top speed: 250kmh
0-100kmh: 5.6sec
Economy: 5.1-100km (55.4mpg)
CO2 emissions: 135g/km
Tax Band: B. €225 road tax
Euro NCAP rating: 5-star; 95% adult, 84% child, 78% pedestrian, 86% safety assist
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